Here we go. I talked with my daughter about homosexuality. The other day, my daughter, myself and some other family members were watching Black Lightning on Netflix. The show cut to a scene where Anissa (Thunder) expresses her love to her soon to be girlfriend, Grace. Knowing a kiss was coming up, I paused the television for a bathroom break.
During my bathroom break, I pondered on the idea of allowing my daughter to watch this scene. To my knowledge, she’d never actually witness direct intimacy between two people of the same sex.
I Have Questioned How I Would Approach The Subject
This wasn’t my first time questioning myself on how I felt about my daughter being exposed to same sex interactions.
It all started a few years ago when the live Beauty and the Beast movie came out. I mean, I was catching vibes throughout the entire film.
For the longest, I was quite frustrated at the media’s “shove it in your face” approach. It’s like they were so anxious to force the homosexual conversations, that they indirectly forced the sex conversation before parents were ready.
Nevertheless, I have been asking myself for years how I wanted to approach the topic with my daughter. She’s six by the way.
Truth Is- Homosexuality Doesn’t Bother Me
It occurred to me, on this particular day in the bathroom, that I really didn’t care about homosexuality. I don’t have an issue with it at all.
In fact, I wouldn’t even care if my daughter grew up to be a lesbian. I wouldn’t look at her any different.
After all, I have celebrated my friends who are in same sex marriages and have been genuinely happy for them. I’ve had my phase of curiosity before and I don’t regret one bit of it.
The only reason I ever felt like I had an issue with her being exposed to homosexuality is because society made me feel like I should. But really, I don’t give a flying fuck.
People love who they love and that’s always okay in my book.
A Decision Was Made
By the time I returned to the living room, I had made up my mind – I was going to let the scene play. I had braced myself for any and all reactions.
As the girls on the television embraced one another with a kiss, my daughter, in a very nasty manner, says, “eww, she has too many girlfriends, yuck, they’re gay!”
So, I had braced myself for every reaction, except for that one.
After I gathered my jaw from the floor, I asked her what the word gay meant. She shrugged her shoulders. I asked her where she had learned it, she told me a family member had told it to her some months prior after witnessing something on cartoon.
She had a judgmental reaction, so I knew whoever explained it to her explained it in a judgmental way.
I didn’t like that.
So, I Talked With My Daughter About Homosexuality
For the sake of the moment, I let the conversation go. Honestly, I was still kind of shocked by the whole ordeal. The next afternoon, she and I were alone in the car, so, I asked her, “what do you think about gay people?”
“They’re weird”, she said. Her response made me uneasy, I realized I was uncomfortable with her pre-judgement. “No, dude, not my kid”, I thought.
I asked her why she thought they were weird. “Because, it’s not normal”, she said.
“It’s just different”, I replied. “It’s just different from what you are used to seeing, but it’s not weird. There is nothing wrong with people loving each other.”
I explained to her that people don’t always like “different”, but it doesn’t mean she should treat people badly or judge them badly.
Then I told her when she grows up, I will love her no matter who she loves. I also assured her that she can always talk to me or come to me if she has questions about anything. She replied, “okay, mommy.” Then I changed the subject to tacos.
From now on, I don’t plan to hide these types of things from her. The world is going to stir theses conversations with our children, regardless. My mind is set on being at the head of the conversation.
Homosexuality is a part of the world we live in. The condemning stigmas surrounding it are just another excuse for dividing people.
I rather teach my child love and acceptance because I care about the way she treats people. I care about her character and I hope that in a room full of ugliness, my daughter will choose to be kind.